Want To Be Happier? This Is What I Did.

It is with so much excitement that I put pen to paper for this, my first blog on my very own website. This single piece of writing is a culmination of decades of pain, silence and doubt, but before I dive into that let me introduce myself.

Hello, I am Tess. I’m an Aussie girl who calls the east coast of this great country home. I live in a sleepy suburban street on the Gold Coast in sunny Queensland with my husband, two boys, step-sons, two fur babies, and a fifth son soon to be earth-side. I have a background in marketing and writing for other people, which seems a perfect segue to dive into the significance of these words you are reading right now.

My Words Were Not My Own

Let’s rewind two years to when I was writing all the blog and marketing copy for one of Australia’s biggest online influencers (and yes, those articles were being published with her byline). Up until that point, I’d had a decade of working under the guise of other brands and people, as I allowed them to take credit for my creativity.

Unfortunately this approach was not unique to my work life. I had been giving my power away all over the place. There had been an emotionally abusive marriage, the struggle of single motherhood, I’d been on the brink of poverty, endured a lifetime of poor body image, and then to top it off, an unfilled and toxic work life.

I look back now at those times and I don’t recognise the woman I was. A woman who gave up her control at the hands of a malice and self-involved boss. Who willingly surrendered her words with little recognition or appreciation because she was scared of not being able to pay the rent. The same woman who years earlier stayed in a volatile and emotionally damaging marriage because she was worried what lay on the other side. A woman who lived in fear that she didn’t have enough inside her to be all that she needed or dreamed she could be.

There have been many big events that have nudged me closer to the woman I am today, and I will let you into all those spaces in time. Today though, let me focus on that toxic workplace which sucked up my soul and stories and repurposed them for someone else’s personal profit. 

That Was Until I Grew A Set + Faced My Fears

Too often we let others walk all over us, and it takes someone else getting hurt for us to step up. This is what happened for me.

It took a dear friend being wrongly fired from that workplace to spur a shift in me. I remember sitting in the office and watching my boss openly shame her because she dared speak up and own her power in a way I was too afraid to. I watched the power struggle ensue, until my friend was dismissed in an unprofessional and public show of brutal dominance.

We all sat there stunned. Within 10 minutes I was receiving messages from my teary mate who was parked down the road in her car unsure of what to do next, whilst my boss gathered the entire office together and asked us to document in writing what we’d just seen happen.

My boss had presumed we would write a testament in favour of her. I was livid, and at that very point I made a decision to not waste another word on a woman so self-indulgent, vindictive and cruel.

Instead I gave her a piece of my mind and within two months I had left that office.

Unleashing My Lion + Learning A Lesson

It can take a devil in Prada to unleash the lion in us, and that boss is one of many people who have come into my life to teach me - albeit push me - to own my voice and my power.

The conflict was uncomfortable, but the lessons that flowed after were life changing. As soon as I shifted my internal dialogue, chose to face the fears inside me, and really step into my worth, the right people started to appear.

I created intentions for how I wanted to feel - I even made a sign to remind myself daily! I committed to feeling supported, celebrated and free to be me.

My world grew. My opportunities grew. People started to show up who were seeing things in me I was starting to see in myself: strength, potential and courage.

Within two months I had secured a job working entirely from home for a family who valued self-expression and freedom. These were people who pushed me, believed in me, and encouraged me to grow bigger and brighter. People who never took my light and pretended it was theirs. These legends even upped my pay and allowed me to choose my own hours. 

A few more months on and I had launched an online business. I was stepping into a health and coaching role where I was connecting with other women who also wanted more. I was speaking my truth and having real connections.

I started to make real and positive changes in the world, and I was doing it on my own terms.

What Does Any Of This Have To Do With You?

Although my life changed drastically in a matter of weeks, it was a build up of lessons learnt over a lifetime that got me there, and THAT is what this blog is about. This is me finally owning my voice and stepping into my purpose. This is me creating a platform for sharing the honest hardships, failures, fumbles and lessons that have helped pull me out of many a dark hole.

In owning my words, owning my worth, and owning my stories I endeavour to teach you how to do the same. I will break it down into the little steps I took, and still take, to crawl out of the lonely places that we can all find ourselves in.

Each of us has a superpower and a gift to give this world, and I hope that by encouraging you to step into your own worth and to own your own dreams, you can begin to unleash your sparkle on all those lucky enough to experience it.

Much love x