Shifting Your Mindset Can Shift Your Life

I’ve been stuck in life more than once. There was a time when I felt trapped in an unhappy marriage, when I was a single mum barely getting by, and even now, in a house filled with love but absolute chaos (five boys can do that to you!). Each season of struggle looked different, but in every one of those times I found myself facing that same feeling: powerless, stuck, like I was spinning my wheels but getting nowhere.

Here’s what I’ve learned over the years: it doesn’t matter where you are, who you’re with, or what’s going on around you - life can feel hard and heavy no matter what your environment is. For years I was adamant that my inner turmoil was because of naughty kids, a dysfunctional marriage, or ‘what he said to me’. I was in the habit of pointing my finger at the world, not realising three fingers were actually pointing back at me.

And this is where all change starts. In every single situation, it starts by taking ownership for your part. It starts with you.

The things that make you feel boxed in, are perspective. The power isn’t in what’s happening around you; it’s in how you’re choosing to look at it. Even the most terrible of circumstances allow us the opportunity to respond how we CHOOSE. Things are not happening to us, but around us - this is an important distinction.

I’ll be the first to tell you that escaping your circumstances or thinking a new environment will “fix” things is a quick path to disappointment. I tried that many times - thinking if I just moved, just started over, just changed my environment, everything would be magically easier. But life has this funny way of bringing our lessons right back to us, no matter where we run.

What truly changed my life was learning to change my perspective, to stop looking for answers outside of myself and to start looking within.

The Turning Point: Recognising the Power Within

So, what does it actually mean to change your perspective, and how can that shift everything?

Let me share a simple analogy that hit me one day while I was in the throes of single motherhood. Life was relentless back then - balancing bills, work, childcare, and trying to keep some sliver of my identity intact. I’d spend my days with my head down, moving from one task to the next, feeling like every single obstacle was this huge mountain that I’d never climb over.

One day I was out walking with my boys, and my youngest pointed up to the sky. I stopped, looked up, and something in me just clicked. There were endless clouds, a vast sky that stretched far beyond my immediate troubles. I realised that I had been staring at my problems, my struggles, my feelings of inadequacy for so long that I hadn’t allowed myself to see the infinite possibility beyond them.

That moment reminded me to shift my focus, to see the bigger picture. I woke up to the fact that while I couldn’t change certain circumstances right away, I could change how I saw them. And with that, a new perspective opened up. The power to feel differently was within me all along.

You Already Have the Tools You Need

Here’s what I want you to know if you’re feeling stuck, like life is happening to you and not with you. I want you to feel deeply into the fact that you already have the tools to create a life that lights you up. Those tools aren’t somewhere “out there”. They’re within you - your perspective, your mindset, your ability to shift how you view your circumstances.

When I stopped looking at life through the lens of “I’m stuck” and started seeing it through “I am capable, I am resilient, and I can see things differently”, everything changed. I didn’t suddenly get a magic fix for all my problems, but I saw opportunities that once looked like roadblocks. I saw growth where I once saw failure. I found gratitude where I once felt loss.

It all starts with knowing your potential and your possibility. It starts with understanding that you have the power to rewrite what feels heavy, what feels impossible.

Shifting Your Mindset: Simple Ways to Start

So, how do you start shifting your perspective when you’re feeling weighed down? Here are a few practices that have helped me, and that I hope will bring you the same clarity and empowerment.

1. Practice Gratitude, Especially on Hard Days

When everything feels like it’s going wrong, gratitude can feel impossible. But I can tell you that gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for shifting your perspective. It pulls you out of your troubles, even if just for a moment, and reminds you of what’s good.

Start small. Write down three things you’re grateful for each day, even if they feel tiny or insignificant. The sun shining, a warm cup of coffee, your child’s laughter. Gratitude trains your mind to look for the positive, which shifts your focus away from obstacles and towards possibilities.

2. Look Up (Literally and Metaphorically)

There’s a reason looking up is so powerful. When you look up, you’re forced to see beyond your immediate surroundings. It reminds you that there’s a whole world out there, filled with endless opportunities and perspectives.

So, next time you feel bogged down, take a break. Go outside, look at the sky, the clouds, the endless horizon. Remind yourself that just as the world is vast, so is your potential. You are not as confined as your troubles make you feel.

3. Ask Yourself Different Questions

When we’re stuck, our inner dialogue often sounds like “Why me?” or “Why can’t I fix this?” Those questions only reinforce feelings of powerlessness. Start asking questions that lead to possibility: “What can I learn from this?” or “How can I use this experience to grow?”

By reframing your questions, you’re telling your mind to look for answers, to find opportunity, to turn hardship into growth. Your mind is incredibly powerful and will respond to the questions you ask. So, ask questions that help you see potential.

4. Trust That You’re Right Where You’re Meant to Be

Sometimes, we get so focused on getting somewhere else, on escaping where we are, that we forget that every step of the journey matters. Trust that you’re exactly where you need to be, even if it feels messy and uncomfortable.

I can look back now and see that every struggle, every moment of feeling stuck, was a stepping stone. Each one shaped me, strengthened me, and brought me to where I am today. And today, I live a life that genuinely gives me goosebumps. I never thought I’d say that, but I’m here to tell you that it’s possible for you, too.

5. Cultivate A Rock-Solid Relationship With Yourself

And perhaps the most important practice of them all: cultivate a strong, trusting, and respectful relationship with yourself. In my free ebook, 6 Ingredients for Self-Love + Happiness, I share a powerful formula to help you build a deeper, more fulfilling relationship with yourself.

Through personal stories and practical strategies, I’ll walk you through six essential ingredients that every successful relationship needs, showing you how to apply them to the most important one of all - the one with yourself. If you’re ready to stop waiting for happiness and start creating it, this ebook will guide you every step of the way.

Embrace Your Possibility

I know it’s not always easy to look up when life feels hard, to shift your perspective when everything around you seems stuck. But I promise, the power to change your reality lies in that shift. The potential is already within you. When you begin to see yourself as capable, resilient, and rich with possibility, your life begins to reflect that back to you.

You don’t need to wait for circumstances to change to start feeling differently. By shifting your perspective, by believing in your own potential, you allow your entire world to open up. Every day becomes a new opportunity, a blank slate to create something meaningful, fulfilling, and beautiful.

So today, take a moment to look up, to feel the vastness of possibility that surrounds you. Trust that you have everything you need within you. Your life is infinite in its potential, just like you are.

With love, Tess